A Transexual Romance

His name was Colt. He was 6’4 and blond with cool, blue eyes. He wore a tight, white t-shirt that attractively revealed the outline of a 6-pack. He walked in with confidence and a swag that turned heads. We had seen each other many times at a local restaurant. There was always eye contact but never an introduction or conversation. I felt a connection of sexual energy from across the room and intuitively felt that one day it would happen. But I didn’t know how much he knew about me. Back then, I didn’t have the confidence to make the first move. Plus, he always had some girl hanging on his every word, so why bother? Someone like him would never be interested in someone like me. 

It was getting late and I was about to go home but decided to go to the restroom first. The bathroom was gritty with a dim light that buzzed and flickered on and off. To my surprise, I saw him standing in front of me as I opened the door. A little nervous, I excused myself and turned to exit while he finished his business. He chuckled and told me that he was done and that it was all mine. As he walked past, we barely touched for the first time and lightning bolted in my panties. Suddenly, chills crept over me and I almost lost my breath. The rugged scent and pure power of his body rubbing against mine was almost more than I could handle. 

Almost out the door, he stopped. No words were spoken because our eyes did the talking for us. I pushed back and he closed the door. I heard the click as it locked. His body pushed me against the wall and his lips touched mine. He kissed me like I have never been kissed in my life. I could not breath or move. As our eyes locked, his hands held my face as I opened my mouth wider and gave him more room for his tongue to explore. I was so taken away by this moment I lost myself. I was in the middle of a fantasy this wasn't real. I felt my panties get really tight and very wet. 

As his hand moved over my body towards my crotch I went into a panic. Did he know? I tried to speak but he pushed his mouth into mine. I tried to push him away so I could tell him. It was too late. His hand was under my dress and in my panties and he didn't stop. He saw the fear and confusion in my eyes and whispered, “I like it”. I closed my eyes and allowed him to take control of my body. He  pulled my panties down and touched me. I could have had a orgasm right there in his hand but I held on.  I wanted it to last. I had never felt so close to someone as I did in that moment. It was like he knew my body because he was doing things and making me feel like I have never felt before. 

My dress was on the floor and his pants were down to his knees. We were still kissing but now our hands were all over each other. His lips worked their way down to my nipples, cupping my breast in his free hand while stroking me in the other. I was wet & hard and ready to explode. I would get close and he would stop. It was really like he knew my body. He enjoyed teasing me. His hands then moved to either side of my ass and lifted me onto the bathroom sink. He pushed himself between my legs forcing me to spread them open more to allow him to get closer to me. The feeling of his hard body against mine and his big penis was very pleasurable.  

He slipped a finger inside of me. His hands were magic but his mouth was unbelievable . He was between my legs licking me while stroking me at the same time. I tried to keep my moans low so no one would hear us. He took me to sexual levels I had never known before. He raised and began to kiss me hard & push his body deeper against mine. The tip of his penis was against my ass and driving me crazy. I was pulsing as he pushed in and pulled out. I could take no more of his teasing so I pushed down on his hard cock and allowed him to enter me. I saw his eyes close as he was all the way inside of me. I felt my body convalescing his hands stroking up and down on my penis & his lips pushed against mine as his penis was going in and out of my ass. I could not take it any longer. I clenched and released myself all over the both of us. I screamed even with his mouth  covering mine. I opened my eyes a couple of seconds later and saw that he was getting close. I laid back, opened my legs and allowed him to go deeper inside me until I felt his body slamming as he tensed up with pleasure and exploded. 

We both fell to the floor and lay next to each other soaked in sweat while we kissed. I looked into his eyes and for the first time in my life saw someone who was looking back at me with real feelings rather than confusion or contempt. Was it love? Was it just sexual attraction? It didn't matter. I felt like a whole person. We cleaned up not saying a word. He looked at me once we were both dressed and handed me his number, telling me that he wanted to do this again. He wanted to take me out on a real date at a real restaurant but most of all wanted to make love to me in a real bed. I felt so fulfilled. 

I did call him and we did go on that date and we did have more wild sex adventures. We dated for just under a year.

Written by Guest Author for Geisha Diaries & Transexual, Tasha Jones

Eros Films on Producing Your Video

"Making a video of yourself shouldn’t be a scary thing but it does require planning and forethought" Meeshee

Last month, Geisha Diaries was pleased to post the article, “Video: The Ultimate in Escort Marketing” authored by the classy Ms. Claudia Cole. Ms. Cole made a gutsy decision to take the marketing of her business to a more sophisticated level. She got together with Marco of Eros Films to produce some jaw dropping short films that have become the pinnacle of her success. She hasn’t looked back. Of course, I had to go to the source and speak with Marco, the mastermind behind Eros Films, to find out how it’s done. Marco is a cool, easygoing artist with tremendous talent and a flare for making escorts look remarkable on film. This is the sequel to Ms. Cole’s article. If your business is struggling, you want to take it to the next level (more like 20 levels), or you want to develop a new persona, read on.

A lot of escorts are leery about working with male photographers or in your case, videographers because they often bear all. What can you say to allow escorts to feel safe with you? 

I can understand how a female provider could feel leery about working with a male videographer. However, when you see our work, talk to us by phone, skype or even in person, she will feel comfortable right away. She will quickly sense our professionalism and realize that all of our attention is focused on making the most powerful and mesmerizing film. We focus on high quality, artistic, cinematic and cutting edge videos. We use the best HD cameras, lighting techniques and cutting edge editing. Our videos are filmed to attract a sophisticated and selected clientele who are looking for something unique in a companion. Our professional and courteous female crew consist of a makeup artist and key wardrobe consultant. They  are present during shoots and creating an easy and relaxed environment.

What advice can you give to a companion preparing for her video?

My advice to a companion is to come relaxed and rested. Avoid drinking alcohol the night before, since alcohol can bloat the face. She should come prepared to show her most sensual attitude in front of the camera. As experienced film directors and directors of photography, we will coach her to bring out her best. Our professional makeup artists and wardrobe stylists will bring out her best. Prior to filming the video, we go through the pre-production stage where we talk about all the elements necessary for the shoot. Following these steps will really prepare a companion for the shoot.

What advice can you give to the companion who wants to make an impact with her video but feels that she doesn’t have a perfect body?

This may sound cliché, but I truly believe that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Every companion has an angle, side or pose that brings out her beauty the most. We apply all of our experience, lighting techniques, creativity and editing to bring out her best.

Does an escort have to have a perfect body to film a high impact, super sexy video? 

I think ‘perfect’ is a subjective word. What is perfect for one might not be perfect for another. It is important for us to listen carefully to our clients (who are providers). We pay close attention and really hear their needs, requests and style. After accumulating all of this information, we carefully plan our lighting, composition and editing in order to enhance our client’s beauty and bring out her best physical and sensual attributes. Our goal is to make her look beautiful, tempting and delightful at all times.

Do you see video replacing stills? 

I believe that nothing will replace still photography. It will always be classic and timeless. But when it comes to promotion and attention gathering streams, video is the new standard. Today, people are promoting more services and products through video. With the availability of new technologies such as powerful mobile devices and fast data speeds, people are watching video more than ever. Therefore, there is an advantage of video over photography. Videos are tri-dimensional mediums that combine imagery, sounds and effects. These combined variables make video a more dynamic way to showcase a companion’s physical, sensual and personality traits in a quick, yet artistic and enticing way.

What is an average, ball park cost of to film a video with Eros Films? 

Prices vary depending on the type of video a provider would like to shoot. We have three packages to offer. My advice to all providers is to contact us. Share a theme, story line or idea and a budget for this marketing investment. We will recommend the right package for them and the price list.

What is an average length of video? 

Between two and half minutes to three minutes.

Do you film couples, pornographic or erotic footage? 

We will consider any client’s request and approach it with style and taste.

Explain a little about your services 

Our services include: 

• Script development or co-development;
• Direction and direction of photography;
• Make up and editing;
• Professional lighting;
• State of the art HD cameras 

In a recent GD article written by Claudia Cole, she talks about her experience with Eros Films and the process of producing her video.  What advice can you give readers with regard to your experience with the filming of Claudia’s videos?

Shooting with Claudia was great. She came to the shoot very well prepared and had a clear idea of what she wanted to achieve on both videos, so that prior pre-production work made the shoot flow smoothly. We had about three phone conversations a couple weeks before the shoot and talked about the concept she wanted, wardrobe and locations needed. We exchanged ideas, and we came up with a very well thought out plan that allow me to estimate and suggest the equipment and techniques that we were going to use in order to achieve the look, style and feel of the story. Once we arrived at her location, we set up lighting, cameras and other gear. As soon as her makeup was ready, we started to shoot. Things went as we expected on both shoots and we achieved all the visuals that we wanted to obtain.

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As filmmakers, we need to know our client's goals. We want to listen to her ideas and marketing needs. Communication is very important. Having plenty of phone conversations, skype or even face-to-face meetings (whenever possible) will allow us all to be on the same page and create a winning plan. 

We are creating a very powerful promotional tool and the more we know about a companion’s goals for these videos the better we can advise her on the many details that make a difference. It is important to decide in advance what outfits go into play, locations, music, lighting, composition and editing. All combined will make an impact on past, regular and future clients for the provider.

Following these words of advice will lead to a smooth shoot and allow us to obtain all the visuals necessary to complete the story.

Written by Geisha Diaries Publisher, Meeshee

The Love of a Dominant for Her submissive

"I felt then and still believe that a Dom can only appreciate her sub if she sees the world through her eyes" Guest Author & Dom, Selena

The journey alongside my dymion has been an adventure I never could have predicted and certainly would never change. Our relationship began in an unorthodox and somewhat controversial way. Though I always had a curiosity about BDSM and perused various fetish and BDSM images on the internet, I had never dated a submissive before (or at least none who would admit to being submissive). Then, I met dymion.

We began as colleagues and friends in a typical vanilla scenario

After work, we spent hours talking about anything and everything. As the relationship grew and trust was established he became forthright about his lifestyle. We had the discussion before we ever had sex. He knew in his heart that he was a submissive and wanted to begin the relationship without secrets or skeletons. I have always admired him for that. I knew the basics of BDSM, but I listened in fascination and surprise to his personal preferences. After that initial conversation, I remember a quiet walk back to my car. It was a clear, peaceful night but my mind was racing. Safely buckled in and about to put the key in the ignition I paused, compelled to pull out my phone and text him. Without much thought, I typed the first thing that came to my mind, “I still think you're perfect!"

I can only assume he was relieved I didn’t freak out or judge him. I’ve never really asked him how he felt just after admitting he had a “dark side,” but it was a brave confession and it intrigued me more than ever. I began extensive research. I viewed pictures, blogs and networking sites for alternative lifestyles until finally, I reached a moment of truth. I asked Dymion, my future submissive, to teach me about dominance and submission (D/s).

My preferred method of learning the D/s lifestyle has often been criticized by those who declare themselves authentic dominants

But I don’t care. I felt then and still believe that a Dom can only appreciate her sub if she sees the world through her eyes. We did a scene: he the Dominant and me the submissive. We experimented with a little of everything: sensory deprivation, bondage, a little bit of pain (not my thing!). All of it was really an amazing eye opener. The experience taught me what he liked and allowed me to discover something in myself. It also gave me a strong foundation of appreciation for the trust one must have to surrender to the power exchange.

For several months we would switch and explore

Eventually I found myself far more comfortable in the Dominant role which is now my exclusive preference. We reached levels of intimacy I had never imagined and I knew our chemistry in and out of kink was an indication that my soul mate had finally found me.

It has been 3 years now and we have settled into our roles in every aspect of our lives. We have daily rituals. He is attentive and agreeable and I always get control of the remote. (Really? Football is on Mondays? I didn't realize...too bad we'll be watching Rupaul's Drag Race!).

I feel beyond fortunate to have crossed paths with my soul mate and I still think he is absolutely perfect

Though day-to-day life always presents challenges, the D/s dynamic works for us and serves as an integral way for dymion and I to connect, stay grounded, and recharge from the vanilla world. There probably isn’t a lesson here, but I do hope my experiences will demonstrate that no matter your bliss or the path you take to reach just make sure that you find it.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author and Dom, Selena

Legal Prostitution According to Bethany St. James

"It is very important to me that everyone understands I do not support decriminalization or support illegal sex work. I only advocate legal federally and state regulated brothel style prostitution. After having grown up in the adult industry and having spent 20 years in the business, safety remains my number one priority. I consider all sex workers - men, women and transgender alike - my sisters and brothers and want everyone to understand that if we work diligently on changing stereotypes and empowering one another we can change laws in order to ensure a safe work environment for all of us. It's important to me that our clients are protected as well. We work in the most intimate business there is and health education and safety should be our focus." Bethany St. James

After Bethany's headline on Xbiz.net caught my attention, I was drawn to the magnetic presence exemplified through her website. What a dynamic woman! Not to mention, an eloquent writer. Now, here is a woman who takes a firm stand on what she believes, liability and all. However, I found her interview with Anderson Cooper to be somewhat disturbing and awkwardly unfair. I approached Bethany about a phone interview with Geisha Diaries. Not only did she oblige, but she was johnny-on-the-spot with the timeliness of our scheduled phone call.

1.       Why did you choose to go on national television to talk about your job as a legal prostitute?

I had a lot of respect for Anderson Cooper as a journalist. For weeks I spoke with the producers of CNN about the blog entry I wrote for Huffington Post. I expressed my concerns about how the subject of legal prostitution would be represented during the scheduled interview with Anderson. During the recording of the interview, I felt that the rug was pulled out from underneath me. They betrayed me. During the actual interview was the first time I heard the title of the show, “Why Men Cheat”.

2.       The interview was rough. How did it make you feel?

It was pretty bad. Most parts of the interview that contained horrible, blatant insults were cut. At one point, the producers came onto the stage to see how I was doing because it was so brutal. They told Anderson to give me a chance to respond to questions. They really toned it down and cut out most of my intelligent responses.

3.       As an advocate for women in the adult industry, I recognized your objective. What was your heart felt reaction to the audience’s response?

I felt sorry for them. Since the interview, I have received so many emails from female viewers who saw the show on television and actually support me. They think it’s a shame that the people in the audience did not support me. Many of these same female viewers are now following me on Twitter. Their initial views of what I do had changed by the end of the show. I think that the people in the audience just couldn’t put stereotyping out of their heads long enough to hear what I had to say. I advocate goal setting and empowerment of intimacy. Lack of intimacy is a dilemma that has permeated our entire culture yet we don’t talk to our partners about it.

4.       Why do you think women are threatened by the fact that you are a legal prostitute?

I think that people would be more accepting of my message if I was uneducated. Because of the stereotype, they don’t understand that I am empowered, smart and happy. I’m about setting goals and achieving those goals. Many women think that because I’m a prostitute I am automatically attached to a stereotype.

5.       Did you feel attacked? If so, why?

I held it together until I got to the airport after the interview and then I got sick. But I wanted to stand up for my peers. So I made it my mission to be the whipping post.

6.       Seems women are threatened by who you are and what you stand for before they even consider how they personally might play a role in the dysfunctionality of the relationships with their husbands. What message can you send to these ladies?

They are close minded and doing a disservice to their marriage. Sex workers have an interesting viewpoint of relationships and sexuality. Their points are just as valid if not more so because the men still go to see them. I wish that these women could open their minds and hear what these sex workers have to say. These women are contributing to the decline of their relationships.

Written by Geisha Diaries Publisher, Meeshee

A Brief History of Prostitution

"A woman who owned property, made high wages and had sex outside of marriage was probably a whore." Guest Author, Mrs. Robinson

I began my quest to learn why society feels such hatred against women in the adult entertainment industry and why these women are looked down upon with such repugnance.

In the nineteenth century, whores performed or received oral sex, used birth control, consorted with men of other races, danced and drank. They harbored no shame. They were assertive, walked alone in public and wore makeup, perfume and stylish clothes.

Prostitutes practiced virtually all of the freedoms that were denied conventional women which are now taken for granted

Prostitutes were particularly successful in the wild, lawless, renegade boomtowns of the West. During a time when women were barred from most employment and wives had no legal right to own property, madams in the West owned large tracts of land and prized real estate.

Prostitutes made by far, the highest wages of all American women

Several madams were so wealthy that they funded irrigation and road building projects that laid the foundation for the New West. Decades before American employers offered health insurance to their workers, madams across the West provided their employees with free health care. While women were told that they could not and should not protect themselves from violence and wives had no legal recourse against rape by their husbands, police officers were employed by madams to protect the women who worked for them. Many madams owned and knew how to use guns.

While feminists sought to free women from the slavery of patriarchal marriage, prostitutes married later in life and divorced more frequently than their more traditional counterparts. During a time when birth control was effectively banned, prostitutes facilitated a market for production and distribution of contraceptives. Women were taught that they belonged in the private sphere while prostitutes traveled extensively, often by themselves, and were brazenly public women.

Long before social dancing in public was considered acceptable for women, prostitutes invented many of the steps that would later become all the rage during the dance craze of the 1910s and 1920s. When gambling and public drinking were forbidden for most women, prostitutes were fixtures in Western saloons and became some of the most successful gamblers in the nation.

Most ironically, the makeup, clothing and hairstyles of prostitutes which were maligned for their overt sexuality (lipstick was considered "the scarlet shame of streetwalkers"), became widely fashionable among American women and are now so respectable that even first ladies wear them.

During the nineteenth century, women could not leave home before marriage, could not work, vote or even walk in public alone

If they where to inherit the family farm it was deeded to their husbands. A husband was also free to rape his wife and children.. Marriage was a form of slavery.

In 1870, "The Gentleman's Directory" was published as a pocket size review system of 150 New York brothels.

So how did sex workers come to be criminalized in the USA? Here is how things unfolded.

Congress claimed to have received an influx of reports that immigrants were being smuggled into the USA and being forced to work in brothels to the extent that they created the Mann Act of white slavery. Oddly enough, in 1910 it took 3 months to send a letter from New York to California. How congress received all these reports and had the time to investigate their authenticity is incredible.

The true objective behind the Mann Act was to prohibit white women from fraternizing with African American men

The Mann Act clearly stated that each state had the right to make its own prostitution laws. These laws were created to “stop a woman from showing her wares in public”. The Fed's would only intervene if the state line had been crossed for the purpose of prostitution or another illegal sex act.

The White-Slave Traffic Act, better known as the Mann Act, is a United States law, passed June 25, 1910 (ch. 395, 36 Stat. 825; codified as amended at 18 U.S.C. §§ 2421–2424).

It is named after Congressman James Robert Mann. Its original form prohibited white slavery and the interstate transport of females for immoral purposes. Its primary stated intent was to address prostitution, immorality, and human trafficking. However, its ambiguous immorality language allowed selective prosecutions for many years and was used to criminalize forms of consensual sexual behavior. In 1978, it was amended by Congress and again in 1986 to apply only to transport for the purpose of prostitution or illegal sexual acts.

Originally this law was passed to criminalize consensual behavior

The first person prosecuted under the act was African-American heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson.[4] He had an interracial affair with a white prostitute by the name of Lucille Cameron. After she refused to cooperate with the prosecution Johnson married her. Less than a month later, he was arrested again for having crossed a state line before the Mann Act was passed.

I believe divorce was created to let a man out of his obligation

During this time, women were told to be good girls. There was not much premarital sex, no gay rights, and women were shamed for having children out of wedlock. Even the Catholic church told women that it was their duty to stay with their husbands, no matter how badly they were being treated. 

No woman has sex expecting nothing in return

Even if she is married she expects her husband to work and support the family and behave in an acceptable manner. No man has sex without expecting it to cost him something. Men have been taking care of women since the beginning of time. Yet today, we want to pretend this is a new concept.

Men are not paying for sex, they are paying not to have any further obligation to women afterword

Today, I think many women stink at negotiating. When a husband can leave his wife with 3 small children and she has to track him across the country for child support, we realize that marriage does not always equal future security. We even have no fault divorce that gives a person the power to dump their spouse after years of marriage and raising children - for no good reason.

Most women in the USA have admitted having sex by the 3rd date

During the 1950s, 78% of all adults in the USA were married. In 2011, only 50% of adults were married. More often than not Americans are hooking up for casual sex with strangers for free while 1 out of 10 men admit to having paid for sex.

Many single mothers date, allowing men whom they barely know into their homes where they have small children. Then they are all surprised when their children are molested or go missing. Not only is this legal, it seems to be socially acceptable, as long as the woman is not being paid. We have the folks who say that they do not want to live next door to a woman who gets paid for sex, yet these same people have no problem living next door to the town shank who regularly brings strange men home for sex.

So when did society begin to accept that it is okay for a woman to be a slut as long as she is not a whore?

Why do people scrutinize the sex lives of prostitutes? Why do we encourage hate crimes against prostitutes with the "they get what they deserve" attitude. More importantly, why are we stalking and arresting adults because of their private sexual activity with another consenting adult?

I can tell you that we escorts are not going to give up our freedom to be independent. We will not be forced into marriage just to survive a bad economy.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author & Advocate for Sex Workers, Mrs. Robinson

Video: The Ultimate in Escort Marketing

"Hello readers. You probably don't know who I am, so please allow me to introduce myself. I am Claudia Cole, an independent companion based in New York and Paris. Escort video is a medium rapidly transitioning from trend to standard." Guest Author, Claudia Cole

I would like readers to know that the following words are spoken with stark frankness and absolute transparency. I have no hidden motive for having written this article nor do I wish to create some grandiose illusion of having any professional or scholastic experience in filmmaking. The last time I went to the cinema was to see the movie "Sea Biscuit". I'm not kidding. I dislike television just as much.

Why would anyone bother to read this? Beats me. I don't care if you do or don't. All I have to offer is my unfiltered experience since making one video and one short (a film-video hybrid entitled "The Seduction"). In this particular article I shall address only my first video entitled, “Claudia: Unconscious- Subconscious”.

I believe there are companions around the globe participating in the adult entertainment industry who possess clear minds, carry good heads on their shoulders with strong, well intended hearts

Honest girls. Many who must not only fend for themselves but who might also support their families or loved ones. Most independent escorts work hard just so we can continue successfully working, a concept that I detest. We remain focused and strive to better ourselves. Many keep moving forward, hopeful to achieve another station in life at some point. Some in the escort business are "lifers." This article was composed for them and for all of the reasons above as we are all like minded.

Low periods are inevitable in the escort world and happen to the best of us

During June of 2011, I hit the mother of all cold streaks. I have been online for about four years, but really only count the last three. The first year or so I had a website but not a clue how to optimize or market it. What a problem indeed!

That all changed when I met another companion in our industry. I was awestruck! Clearly, this girl had a fundamental understanding of how things worked. Her assistant traveled with her, three phones were ringing off the hook and her tour schedule was packed. Her manner of doing business was quite foreign to me at that time. Today, she is my only real and trusted online friend. Her selfless guidance changed my life.

In July of 2011 she was in New York, listening to my complaints and frustrations. This cold streak was a monster! I had tried everything to shake it. During that quiet period, I re-designed my website, updated my gallery with all new images and even had two ten-ten reviews published. Still, nothing.

Her advice was to do a video

I must admit, she had never given me bad direction, but when I departed from her hotel room, I became angry! I like to fly beneath the radar. Now I need a video? I'm not the type to twitter away my sins and pleasures. Following her advice would require tackling a whole new marketing medium plus, the tedious task of teaching myself an entirely new skill set. Forget the effort. The cost sounded daunting, at best.

I was motivated by an urgent need to escape the fear and uncertainty

of the Claudia Cole flat line so I bit the bullet and proactively educated myself about the process involved in making a promotional video. I spent countless hours online researching the subject from all angles both corporate and provider oriented. Oddly, I noticed parallels between the two. The same standard rules for success and failure kept appearing at the same cross-sections. Example: always keep the length of a video under ninety seconds. At the same time, I sought video works made by others in our industry from the United States and far beyond.

I noticed that video productions devised as marketing tools shared a similar formula. For clarity's sake, I am referring to a provider’s film/video that is publicly viewed as opposed to a provider's film/video that can only be viewed within the paid member’s area of her website.

2 patterns emerged: 

• A picture slide show set to epic or gripping music, with some flash effects; and
• A film with a pretty female performing some variation of the following acts 

Music begins. A melody of a sensual nature plays (perhaps another sub-standard rendition of Serge Gainsbourg's Je T'Aime that has been done to death).

Visuals set in. Pretty female sips champagne then places the glass on a candle lit table. She gracefully steps before a mirror and carefully applies her lipstick. She unfastens her sexy garter belt, slowly removes stockings from her beautiful, long legs. She glides over to the dimly lit bathtub filled with bubbles and covered in rose petals.

You know this film. We have seen it many times. Yes, of course, some are better than others which is a matter of personal taste.

It is no big surprise why the standard rule mandates videos under ninety seconds in length. It is because the mind wanders. The content we produce should be interesting enough to hold a viewer's attention with delight and sparking curiosity. If this cannot be accomplished regardless of the length of the video it would be unrealistic to expect outstanding results. Even more so, if the two or three minutes a particular person spends with us on screen are lackluster, how shall it feel for them when in person? You want to please your visitors, don't you? Will your visitor be enchanted? Desire your company again?

A well made video provides a portal into your sexy mind

Do not be afraid. If your film is fun, creative, clever, and interesting it will be a success. Your new guest will be happy and so shall you. It's a win-win! Film is an honest tool that provides an insight as to who you are in a way that no photo gallery can ever accomplish.

During the time I spent researching the subject of video I was astonished by the number of these types of films that exist. Was everyone just copying one another? Why not be bold, stand out as an individual and make something different? These thoughts were a bit reminiscent of when I searched online for a webmaster. I encountered site after site that contained redundant graphics of limousines, champagne bottles and images of private aircraft plastered everywhere. You know those websites. I know you do!

Jump now to end of August, 2011. I must have visited every website that existed, eager to gather and understand all information readily available. There were moments when a self-induced brain bleed was about to occur. The instruction, pressure and stress collected along this venture were too much and were taking a toll on me.

Envisioning a horizon of financial sodomy taking shape is a spooky and disconcerting feeling

Before I knew it, September of 2011 appeared. Instinctively, I knew that it was time to film a video. I cannot explain what or why this happened but my intuition spoke to me. Suddenly, most of what I read, dissected, and deemed law was simply disregarded. Dismissed! I decided to take a chance. But not without fear! It was quite a gamble.

Here's the basic formula your human guinea pig used for film number one, entitled “Claudia: Unconscious- Subconscious."

For a girl who chooses to cover her face and does not engage in x-rated behavior in front of a camera, this film had to somehow manage to entertain

I wanted to make a video with a story. Most importantly, it carried the handicap of needing to break my crippling cold spell. Here is how I did it:

Make it a story 

Stories have titles. Films have titles. So do paintings. If you are going to put your work out into the world, please consider allowing the basic dignity of having a title. Doing so will breathe life into your work.

A professional film company's producer will want your storyboard in advance. Red alert if you are not asked! This way your director and camera person can position you best. The D.P. (or cinematographer) will have your specific lighting requirements prepared, any extra equipment and the like. This way your film's vision should be realistically met. Preparation of your crew and yourself will help to achieve the best results for your dollars spent.

After you have written your storyboard (in full wardrobe) rehearse and play out each move. It was surprising to learn that what I envisioned in my mind while writing the storyboard took on a completely different reality (of horror) when physically going through and playing out the script! By doing this, I saved some definite embarrassment!

Music

If you write your own film, then you should choose your own musical score. This process should have very little to do with your own day-to-day tastes in music. You must view this as a commercial process both for you and your online purposes. Therefore it's paramount to serve your audience and film first. Music sets an audible theme, mood and feeling to your video/film.Music carries the power to drag a mind down-tempo, abandoned to wander. The reverse is also true. The music you select can alter and provoke one's imagination, keeping viewers alert. Do not be afraid of the music! This can be a really long process, but when a well-selected track for your project is chosen, it will be of much aid. The music you chose does not need to be similar to what you would play while in an intimate situation. This I cannot stress enough. Kill the yoga music already.

Since I am based in New York City and the images on my website are of a Manhattan nightscape, I chose a track that was a bit dark, gritty, and had a repetitive beat. It coordinated well with my site and film.

Try this exercise: Watch “Claudia: Unconscious- Subconscious" in total silence. You will then understand immediately. The mind wanders! The feeling is different. Sure the transition scenes re-occurring in different colors are sort of visually catchy and the next-to-last scene when walking in the park does the trick, but if it had been set to the wrong musical track, most viewers would not have watched long enough to make it to that scene.

I choose to acquire music legally. There are so many websites that offer royalty free music. Just Google it. Some are free while others charge a fee to license. It's usually rather inexpensive to do so. Plus, it just isn't good form to steal works by musical artists, right?

The importance of an expert editor

Of all the things learned during the process of making “Claudia: Unconscious- Subconscious", this was by far the most important lesson. Acquiring an expert editor who is well versed in his/her trade is paramount. This is one of the major reasons why I choose to work with the team at Eros Films. Anyone can have miles and miles of pretty footage. But if it is not put together with surgeon-like precision, one runs a very high risk of a commercial that is totally ineffective. Period. What happens in the post production phase is serious stuff that will affect your bottom line. The editor is the person who puts your entire story together. Your motions and emotions become synchronized to the music and story. A great editor sees exactly where the sweet spots are in your taped footage. They know how to place those little (or grand) "flash" affects in the proper spot. They understand how to keep your audience's attention focused and mesmerized. The editor is the person who makes your film move. 

The editor is the puppeteer and master of all your hard work

This applied talent will enhance the video. Done very well, it will add the necessary polish and continuity to your well thought out work. I am not speaking of complicated effects, just basic, yet intelligently applied visuals.

I have already proclaimed myself as your personal guinea pig, test pilot. For those of you who are serious, please remain with me for just one last example.

Remember that set in stone rule about keeping a promotional video under ninety seconds, tops? Here is the best example of the importance of a top-class editor. “Claudia: Unconscious- Subconscious" crushes that rule and leaves it in the dust. I'll never forget the September night when I was walking home and my blackberry rang. Yes, it was my editor calling, working late on my video:

Me, "Good evening. Everything alright?”

He, "Yes! Fantastic. The last draft is finished and I've sent you a private link to approve. Please watch it and then call me. Oh, by the way. It runs four minutes and forty-one seconds."

Me, "No! No, this cannot happen! It goes directly against everything I have read! Please, can't it be edited down further?"

He,."Stay calm." (laughing – while a feeling of utter sickness took over me) "It doesn't feel like four minutes and change. This video REALLY moves. You will be shocked. Just watch it then please call me, alright?"

Amazing film editors now have my full respect and admiration. Without their special talent a motion picture or video can become an expensive heap of absolutely nothing. Again, anyone can possess miles and miles of pretty, filmed footage.

If the person laboring on your behalf in the post-production phase does not care or understand what you are trying to convey about yourself, then all is lost. It's just that simple. I have zero interest in producing a mindless Claudia Cole vanity fest. I'm not here for that. 

Video/film is a very powerful medium

The decision, commitment, and thought required to create something that is considered as memorable, sexy and unique can be a challenging undertaking. But don't skimp. Make your work with well-regarded professionals, or don’t bother. Your return on investment will be worth it. Trust me.

A great many like myself spend a well calculated portion of the money they earn to advertise in various ways. I come from a different school of thought.

I believe that if you treat people well they will come back to you

In other words, I am my own best advertisement. Therefore, it was a deliberate choice to challenge the standard molds and take a risk. Again, this was not accomplished without a lot of anxiety! Because still, what do I know? Honestly? Not much. Just what I have learned which is openly shared right here. That's about it.

I took a chance at the recommendation given by a beloved friend, a kind person who selflessly helped another girl – me. I now humbly pass along this information to you without filters, without apprehension. It is my sincere hope that by writing this rather lengthy (and boring) article, it will be of valuable purpose to someone. Prosperity breeds prosperity. There is enough success to go around for all.

Remember that vicious cold streak? I threw some intense fire on it and guess what? Let's just say that now things are pretty temperate over here at "Chateau Claudia."

Written by Guest Author & Elite Companion, Claudia Cole

Secret Life of a Punter

"A total lack of understanding and acceptance by society of our activities as punters is a moral issue in itself" Guest Author, Capital Punter

and one which is shrouded by much controversy. But in this post I wish to explore the lengths to which one will go in order to ensure that one's identity is safeguarded.

A Punter Must Always Protect His Identity

The subtitle of my blog in the UK is "The Secret Life of a Punter in the London Escort World and Beyond". The term "secret" is due to the clandestine nature of one's activities as a punter which applies to hobbyists as well.

Early on as a punter, the first thing I did was to assume a different identity that is maintained during all of my activities when dating escorts

This is my persona known to all of the companions I see. However, as a naturally honest and trusting person, I am quite candid with companions whom I get to know on a more personable basis and whom I feel I can trust with my real name, profession and general personal details. Of course, there are intimate details that I share only with the most trusted of friends and certain questions I prefer not to be asked. However, within reason, I am happy to talk about most areas of my life.

The fascinating part is that companions close to me have gotten to know my alter ego

which is a very different part of me than the side colleagues and good friends see of me in the "real world". This is because these ladies actually know the true me, warts and all!

One of the biggest challenges facing any punter is maintaining a water-tight cover story in the eyes of others before ever meeting with a companion. Be it with a colleague, friend or significant other, a cover story needs to be consistent and plausible. (I shall soon post an article on my own blog entitled, “Back Story” as it is so important to create a story and stick to it in order to avoid any obvious inconsistencies in the eyes of others.) I have found it necessary to create a double life to avert the attention of my more inquisitive colleagues. At times it is difficult and isolating not being able to share some amazing experiences. But secrecy is a small sacrifice for protecting one's privacy.

With the prevalence of technology nowadays, punting is so much easier

Likewise, there are now a myriad of ways in which a secret identity can be discovered. It is easier than ever for our activities to be scrutinized. When contacting or communicating with a companion, I use a separate phone, a dedicated email account, a stand-alone pc (never at work) and never write anything down. Everything is password protected and those passwords are changed frequently. I cover all of my bases by ensuring that internet surfing is done in private mode, all pages dutifully shut down, nothing saved and all history and cache memories deleted, even if no-one else uses my pc. Remember, you only have to be unlucky once! I encountered a few embarrassing episodes when my pc went in for a repair and field reports later appeared in the recovered docs memory.

The adult industry is a tight one where word travels fast about less scrupulous or immoral operators

As a punter, discretion is everything. I firmly believe that most companions not only respect this but that it is of equal importance to them as well. Maintaining a duplicitous lifestyle may not be favorable but either one needs to accept it or strongly consider choosing a different hobby! Let’s be honest. Only a foolish companion would compromise her client’s privacy as making life difficult for him would hardly improve her business.

Punters prefer anonymity

One of the most contrasting differences between U.S. hobbying and U.K. puntering is that in the U.K. one does not have to divulge his full name, unless it is to request an outcall appointment (where a companion travels to the punters home or hotel suite). It is my understanding that in the U.S., escorts require proof of identification before ever seeing a client. Such a standard would be an anathema for most U.K. punters.

The U.K. does not have a national identity card scheme

As a result, we are quite reticent to carry any form of identification. Moreover, as punters, we are not terribly fond of having to "prove who we are". I do believe this creates far more inherent risk for companions. I strongly feel it is more considerate and certainly more responsible for us gentleman punters to consider this as a safety feature for the ladies and to reassure them in any way we can. Being a bit more open can lend to a more relaxed date. I doubt most companions seek to expose their clients which would certainly be detrimental to their business.

I am not suggesting that we punters necessarily reveal our identification, but just to be considerate of a companion's request to be more open about ourselves and appease any anxiety she may have.

I have heard some awful stories of escorts who have been threatened by neighbors and landlords

In talking with companions whom I know well, they too are compelled to protect their identity by leading double lives. Doing so is even more acute due to the stigma that society has attached to companions and the services they provide. Very few companions feel free to reveal their professions to friends and family. 

Identity is precious to both punters and companions alike and I do not think it’s any different in other countries. Therefore, we all need to do what we can to protect ourselves. Simple steps are often the best ones.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author & Punter, Capital Punter

Delicious Darkness of a Transsexual Courtesan

"Won't you come and taste me?" Guest Author TS Rachel

I am a blackberry, sweet, succulent and delicious. It took some time, but I am now ripe for the picking. Savor my flavors and all their delicate nuances, that is if blackberries are you thing. Some prefer other flavors from nature's bounty: raspberry, strawberry or even boysenberry, but many know the darker the berry, the sweeter the fruit.

Since I was a young child, I remember sitting around my mother and her sisters and close girlfriends listening to them discuss life and light commentary about serious subjects. As a child of the South, I was accustomed to hearing old sayings, colloquialisms that always seemed to fit the subject matter to a tee. One day, I was there when they were talking about the American standard of beauty and their take on it, when my aunt laughingly said, "Well you know what they say, 'the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice' ". Wow, how catchy and profound.

What is the origin of this phrase? Was it a metaphor about darker-skinned women or were they actually talking about blackberries versus raspberries? In keeping with Black History Month, let's explore.

The Blacker the Berry: a Novel of Negro Life

is a novel by author Wallace Thurman. The novel tells the story of Emma Lou Morgan, a dark-skinned African-American woman, beginning in Boise, Idaho and ending in Harlem during the Harlem Renaissance. Throughout the novel, Emma Lou is discriminated against by lighter-skinned African Americans and she must come to terms with her skin color if she is ever to be satisfied with her life. This novel, published in 1929, is one of the earliest written using the phrase, but I am sure it is as old as time in the black community.

Discrimination is not just a problem between white and blacks, but actually amongst African Americans as well

Some of the world's most beautiful women have been of darker complexion. The last 100 years have presented a slow awakening to that obvious beauty. Some of the first black icons of beauty have been Josephine Baker, Lena Horne, Dorothy Dandridge, and Dihann  Carroll. What is obvious to some but not most is that they are all of lighter complexion. When Lena Horne first came to prominence there was no makeup for her and the great Hollywood makeup artist Max Factor created a shade of foundation based upon her complexion. He called it 'Light Egyptian'. I guess it looked more exotic and appealed to a broader audience on store shelves.

Some of the darker skinned beauties that have come along in the last 30 years or so and have bucked the conventional standard of beauty have been the world's first black supermodel Beverly Johnson, Grace Jones, Iman, Naomi Campbell, Alek Wek and Kerry Washington. 'Light Egyptian' is a few shades too light for me as it must have been for these women of deeper skin tone.

I am the blackberry; won't you come and have a taste?

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author and Transsexual, TS Rachel

Escort Dating in the Real World

"It seems that regular, non escort women in the dating world don't even bother screening a guy to make sure he is not an ax murderer before heading out to dinner with him" Guest Author Mrs. Robinson

Outside of my escort business, I’ve hardly dated much in years. As a single parent, I have dedicated myself to raising my daughter. I never brought men into my home nor did I bring the few men who I dated around my daughter. I have been committed to maintaining a stable environment for my child and making a solid living. Now that my daughter has grown up and moved out I have been thinking about dating again.

I wonder what other companions think of normal dating websites

Recently, I joined a popular dating site just looking to meet someone new, not trying to pick up clients. I posted a normal profile.  Even though my profile states that I am not willing to meet with anyone until I get to know them online, 99% of the responses were 1 liners wanting to meet immediately for coffee, drinks or dinner. They were all evasive and wouldn’t engage in simple conversation while all claiming to want long term relationships.

I answered about 100 emails though it seemed like they were all losers

Even though my profile said I wasn't willing to date anyone that made less than 100 k a year, owned a home and had no debt the emails poured in, 225 within the first hour. I was at it for over 8 hours before I gave up and I wasn't even looking at their pictures anymore, just reading the emails and profiles before responding.

It seems that regular, non escort women in the dating world don't even bother screening a guy to make sure he is not an ax murderer before heading out to dinner with him. Do these women have no standards? As an escort, I screen all clients with whom I intend to meet. I do background checks and verify the man’s ID when we meet. Most importantly, I always let a friend know where I am going, with whom I am meeting and that I will touch base with them upon my return to ensure my personal safety.

These men don't even try to impress

They provide their handle and first name. They may tell you what they do for a living and then either want to chat or have you call them for an immediate meet up.

I don't understand why any woman would want to date a man who expects her to work and then come home to a second shift of taking care of him, the house and stroking his ego. These men act like they are entitled and that a man providing for a woman is a new concept.

Perhaps I am not ready to venture out into today's real dating world. But at least as an escort, I don't have to pick up their dirty socks in the morning.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author & Companion, Mrs. Robinson

Placées - Black Sugar Babies of the 1700's

"The world of the sugar baby, companion or mistress has deep roots in cultures throughout time" Guest Author Texasugah

Imagine flowing, jewel toned silk, lace, satin and fine linens; a dressing room filled with the heady scent of French parfum; her closet filled with rows of handmade shoes and matching purses. Imagine a lady dressed in lovely foundations, corset and stockings; the walls of her townhome laden with art de jour and custom furnishings; a servant to cater to her whims and take away her daily cares while she awaits a visit from her lover; a world of decadence with elegant balls, dinners and passionate evenings.

Many know the story of Sally Hemmings once reported to be the most notorious woman in America.  Sally’s lifelong love affair with Thomas Jefferson was confirmed with DNA tests performed on their descendants in 1998. Yet there is another story of women of color who lived in their own high society in the South through the 1700 and 1800s.

The Plaçage (French for “to place with”) was a widely recognized system whereby free women of color enjoyed comfort as mistresses of wealthy white men

It was an open and respectable society in its own right. These women, known as placées, were generally maintained in city homes that were bought for them by their lovers (not unlike a Sugar daddy purchasing a townhome for his mistress). These ladies were considered Creole, quatroons (1/8^th black) or mulatto( ½ black) and prized for their beauty. In most cases, these women were well educated and multilingual. 

In these, “mariages de la main gauche” or left handed marriages, many of the women had children

Children born to these unions were not considered black but “gens de couleur” or people of color. The lovers arranged for the boys’ educations in prestigious private schools in France. In some cases, the boys returned to inherit their father’s businesses if there were no other male offspring. The girls were taught by governesses to become mistresses themselves because, in many cases, this was the best option for women of color.

Placées found themselves in a quandary. Existing outside of the general society, they were forbidden from legally wedding their white lovers, were accustomed to finery that the average Creole man could not provide and were too educated and elevated to consider freed slaves. Some who didn’t remain in a lifelong arrangement became courtesans who commanded $10 per hour when the average laborer made only $.22 cents per hour. A great number of the Placee women continued to establish their own small businesses, inherited and manage their own plantations.

The celebrated New Orleans Ballroom was once home to the Quadroon Ball

These opulent events were depicted in “The Courage to Love” featuring Vanessa Williams. Wealthy white southerners, of “good family” were invited to mingle with light-skinned women of color in hopes of acquiring mistresses (if only it was so easy to meet a sugar daddy today).  These men were predominantly in their early 20s and created families until they were able to take on “legitimate families “ as interracial marriage was illegal. Arrangements were generally negotiated by a woman’s mother. Typically, the parent were compensated (yes, mom got an allowance, too), complete care for the mistress and legal recognition of any children born of the union. Beyond complete support during the relationship, should her protector and lover die before her, she could challenge the courts for up to a third of his property.

An influx of Northern whites cast a shadow on the Plaçage society.  It was seen as reprehensible and this sentiment was fueled legally by bitter wives, religious and social activists. It was seen as a form of prostitution and was maligned despite the fact that for many decades these ladies outnumbered the number of free black men.  What was a lady to do? 

Famous Placées

Marie Susanne

A child of placage herself, entered into a life long placage with a planter. She successfully managed her own affairs and died in 1838 leaving an estate valued at over $ 1.5 million in 2011 currency.

Rosette Rochon

Born 1767, was the placage of both Joseph Forstal and Charles Populus, both wealthy White New Orleans Creoles. She leveraged her position to buy real estate in New Orleans. Throughout her career she purchased rental property, open grocery stores, bought and sold mortgages and rented out slaves. Her son became a government official in Haiti.

Marie Laveau

The voodoo queen of New Orleans, lived with her lover Dumesil de Glapion. He was so in love with her that he refused to live separately from her and posed as a man of color to keep their relationship respectable. They had fifteen children. One of them, Marie Euchariste or Marie LeveauII, looked so much like her mother that many thought Marie had been resurrected.

Over the years, the extraordinary story of these beautiful ladies has been largely forgotten taking with it a very unique and vibrant culture. 

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author & Sugar Baby, Texasugah

Endless Orgasms in the World of Electrosex

"With the electrical current doing all the movement for me, orgasms became nearly effortless" Guest Author, Madame X

You are lying on your back, completely at ease, yet you can't stop your pulse from quickening sharply as you think of the thrill soon to come. Hovering above you, I feel your excitement as well. My hand strokes your neck gently, a physical reminder to keep calm.

“Relax, baby. Don't fight the current. I want you to enjoy this”

The control box has several wires leading to two fabric strips around your enthusiastic shaft with two similar round patches at the base. My fingers gently turn the small dial and you feel a warm, rubbing sensation up your most sensitive areas. The dial stops and the rubbing increases to a rapid tingling. My hand on your neck tells me that you're enjoying this new sensation and are ready for more. I turn the dial up higher, and – Oh My God!

What you're experiencing is the TENS, transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation

Most who are familiar with it know it from non-sexual settings as it's often used by doctors to treat muscle and nerve injuries by stimulating nerves and consequently the muscles they control. I was first introduced to the TENS in this setting where I learned the basics of enjoying electric flow. I found if I was tense in any way, my muscles would resist the electrical current and I would be uncomfortably jarred. However, if I completely relaxed, the current would pulse through me smoothly, moving my muscles, kneading me and giving me the most thorough, satisfying massage ever. Being that my skin was so pleasantly sensitive after treatment, it wasn't long before my mind wandered to particular body parts that could use a thorough massage!

With my own TENS in my home, I decided to see what fun I could have with myself and found that it was much more than I imagined. With the electrical current doing all the movement for me, orgasms became nearly effortless! With no conscious control of my own stimulation (until I thought coherently enough to power off the TENS), they were endless as well... incredible. So incredible, in fact, that I was sure I wasn't the only person having such a fantastic time. I immediately went to the internet to see who else was lucky enough to discover instant orgasms at the turn of a dial.

People have been playing with electricity for well over a hundred years even through eras that were considered extremely sexually repressed

Turns out, a lot of lucky folks! We've come a long way since the mechanical masturbation belts of the 1850's and the Relaxacisors of the 1970's. As technology advances, so does the wonderful world of Electrosex. We now have electrified plugs, clips,  sheaths, dildos, specially designed electrified versions of all your favorite musical numbers (featuring a variety of wave forms to make your orgasms unique and memorable) and preassembled kits if you'd like to easily electrify a few of your favorite standard sex toys.

While Electrosex is so much fun as a solo activity, it's a wonderful experience to share as well

I enjoy using my electrically responsive gloves to add a delightfully shocking edge to my usually soft caress, leaving the trail of my touch wonderfully receptive to whatever else may follow. The increased sensitivity that electrical stimulation brings to all erotic activities has definitely been noted and named the Slightest Touch Method, where simply exposing yourself to a gentle electrical current (via the contact cloths of the TENS, under my gloved hands, or a few strategically placed clips) will make the orgasms you knew you'd enjoy amazingly more explosive!

The D'Arsonval, or violet wand, is also a very popular approach that delivers an intriguing visual element to Electrosex

The D'arsonval creates a constant supply of static electricity which collects in a glass tube electrode until the glass makes contact with skin. Depending on the contents of the tube, the glowing sparks can be any color and the sparks visibly fly from the wand, which makes for quite a show! Of course, the electrodes come in every imaginable shape, size, and function and the possibilities are tantalizingly endless. Even though this particular piece of equipment is more commonly associated with a BDSM setting, many consider the tingling pleasure that the D'Arsonval leaves behind is well worth the brief moment of pleasurable pain.

Like all things though, safety first! Electricity has no limits, so be sure to remember yours. If you're already controlling your natural electrical processes with prosthetics (i.e. you have a pacemaker or similar equipment) then these activities should be off limits and high levels of electricity should never be applied to the chest!

Keep things below the belt…which is probably where you wanted to go anyway, right?

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author, Madame X

A Submissive Reveals Himself

"As I became more interested in the scene, it became clear that BDSM was the best way to express my sexuality" Guest Author & submissive, Dymion

Geisha Diaries seeks to de-mystify the proverbial divide between the adult world and what common society considers the conventional world. Most often, the adult world consists of folks seeking to explore various avenues of sexuality, considered taboo in the conventional world, for two reasons: financial mobility or self-expression. Almost all cross over into the adult world in an effort to make ends meet and/or fulfill their individuality for needs that haven’t been met in the conventional world. Does that make them unusual, freakish or perverted? Perhaps to some, but not when you consider that all of the topics explored here on Geisha Diaries are written and read by neighbors, friends, parents, dentists, CEO’s, executives, artists, technicians and entrepreneurs. They are secretly indulged.

Consider the lifestyle of a Dom/submissive relationship. That’s what we did by way of a phone interview with Dymion, owned and collared by Selena. No more words are necessary as the interview speaks for itself:

1. How did you discover that you are a submissive?

By the time I was in my late teens, early 20’s, I realized that I was attracted to this BDSM sort of erotica. It fit well with an crucial part of my personality of who I was. . It was an inherent feeling inside me. We have to be true to who we are. As we explore the world we have experiences that feel right. As soon as I got involved, it felt right and it explained many years of curiosity.

2. Did your first BDSM experience scare you?

No. By the nature of BDSM activities, there was such an adrenaline rush that it overwhelmed the part of me that was afraid. It was so exciting. You anticipate something developing. It’s something that you believe is a part of what and who you are.

3. How would you describe your relationship with your Goddess Selena?

Phenomenal! It’s the kind of relationship that I waited for all my life. We have been together four years and she is my soul mate. We've been talking about getting married for quite a while now, and it's right around the corner.

4. Does fidelity apply to your Dominant / submissive relationship?

Absolutely. This is not a client-type relationship or one of friends with BDSM benefits. This is a truly extraordinary, loving relationship as strong as any marriage can be. It just so happens that with regard to our sexual relationship we have a very strong D/s (Dominance / submission) dynamic. We are fully competent as a couple. We care very deeply about each other. Our relationship exemplifies all aspects of a normal relationship with the added dimension of BDSM.

5. How do you handle this Dominant /submissive dynamic of your relationship with friends and family?

It is totally private, and nobody amongst our friends and family know about the BDSM or D/s nature of our relationship. While friends and family may pick up on elements of the D/s dynamics (without really knowing the meaning or background), and occasionally make remarks about how Selena "leads" our relationship, none are privy to the details. And nobody close to us gives us the impression that they are familiar with BDSM, D/s, or Female Led Relationships (FLR). They recognize that Selena makes the decisions. They might have a sense of it without placing words or tags on the relationship. Quote (and Moment) of the Day is a good example of what I’m talking about.

6. Is there any Sado-Masochism (S&M) involved?

Yes. There are regular activities that people would classify as sado-masochistic. We don’t have a full-out scene every day. But there are daily activities and rituals that are clearly sado-masochistic (SM) or bondage and discipline (B&D) by nature. 

7. Can you talk about your daily BDSM activities?

Well, there are really too many to list, but one of our daily rituals goes like this: every day, when I get home from work, I get the locking leather collar for Selena and I kneel before her. She’ll place it around my neck and lock it. It will stay there until I have to get ready for work the next day. It is a very powerful act, and it reinforces the Dominance and submission dynamic of our relationship. You can read more about the significance of the collar for us in New Collar. I have also been wearing an Eternity Collar for more than a year now. It is a stainless steel collar which is 3/8" thick and locks with a special screw that cannot be removed without the particular tool that only Selena keeps. She has not removed it since the very first day she collared me. A recent blog post, The Eternity Collar: One Year Anniversary, talks about it.

8. What kind of work do you do?

I am a high profile Vice President in a respected and well known organization. As someone in a key leadership position with this company, I am quite often in the public eye.

9. Can you distinguish between pleasure and pain?

Of course. But what some people may consider pain I might consider pleasure. Selena and I do draw a distinction between good pain and bad pain, or excessive good pain, if you will. Wearing nipple clamps is good pain for me (at least for a while), while dropping a heavy box on my foot is bad pain (nothing erotic or sensual about the latter). Selena's mood dictates activities and intensity of the play. Some days I can handle more while other days I can handle a little less. Communication and being tuned in to the reactions of one's partner during play are very important factors to ensure that both enjoy the scene. This includes, if necessary, the use of Safe Words to quickly adjust the pace or in certain extreme cases bring the activities to a halt if some go beyond my threshold. Without this kind of feedback, the BDSM play may wander into a dangerous zone that is too intense or even potentially harmful which would destroy the scene for both of us. Selena is very good at communicating with me and gauging how I'm doing during a scene. If a scene has escalated too quickly or to a level that is too intense for me, then the use of pre-determined Safe Words (such as green, yellow or red) allow us to adjust and avoid encountering a bad or dangerous scene.

10. Do you ever include other people in your BDSM activities?

Not into our personal BDSM activities. But we are active in the BDSM community. We have attended many munches and kink-oriented social events. We have also participated in private, closed parties where other people gather to talk about BDSM, D/s relationships, show-off their favorite BDSM toys, and play with their partners (and occasionally other people). We are monogamous in our sex life as well as in our BDSM activities. Fidelity extends to our BDSM play as well. We don't feel the need to have others be part of our play or our relational dynamics.

11. As a submissive, are you religious?

Organized religion is not a part of my life. I believe that spirituality lies elsewhere. But I know many people in the scene for whom religion is very important. Each to their own in spirituality and sexuality.

We continue to develop and grow in this private area of BDSM both emotionally and spiritually. It is a very enriching part of our lives that we share through our blog to demystify and provide people with a perspective. We’ve inspired people to explore and ask questions. We find BDSM a very rewarding part of our relationship.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author & submissive, Dymion

Profiling the Hardcore Masochist

“The truly masochistic man is rare"

Guest Author Mad Masterfun, Femdom Society

The world of BDSM is a colorful one. The roots of every fetish and fantasy run deep. To produce femdom movies with camslaves who exhibit their fetishes is not easy.

The ladies of the Femdom Society are true sadists who love what they do. To them, a submissive man is no real challenge, sometimes even considered boring. They come to me and ask me to find hard pain masochists. Well. This type of man does not grow on trees. He is quite rare. 90-95% of the individuals in the Femdom Society videos are not masochists. They are submissive men who find satisfaction through torture by getting kicked sexually.

Masochists are a totally different breed

I met my friend John the first time in 2008 in the private club of Lady V at a femdom play party. This particular evening, I was in the salon with about a dozen spectators assisting a nice married couple, initiating their coming out. The husband was affixed to a cross as I demonstrated to his wife how to use paddle, cane and carpet beater on him.

Lady V kicked her two naked foot slaves away

Suddenly, there was a stir as beautiful Miss Medea stuck her head inside the door and anxiously announced, “John is here” as she smiled all over her pretty face. Never before had I seen Lady V act like a teenager in love, claiming “John, oh my! Now we are going to have fun”.

I thought who the hell is John? Germany’s next superstar? A combination of the three holy kings? Or a millionaire on vacation? Everyone except the couple left the room. There was a clamor outside the salon and my curiosity peaked. I took the married mistress by the hand and whispered, “We’ll give your husband a little rest and go have a look at what the others are doing” and left him hanging on the cross.

We walked into the small clinic room. It was crowded and impossible to get in when I recognized the voice of Lady V asking if there was someone with a camera. That was my ticket to elbow my way through the crowd.

I saw 5 Ladies gathered around a naked man

There was nothing spectacular about him, except for his nudity and 3 massive suitcases sitting next to him, open to reveal needles of every size and medical equipment I have never saw outside of a hospital.

Lady V and Mistress Marie were mending first his scrotum to the right breast nipple then his erect penis to the left breast nipple

I asked John if it was ok to take pictures. He smiled calmly and replied, ”It’s ok, but do not show my face”. The next hour I dealt with unpacking sterile needles and taking photos.

I asked myself, how can a man withstand such torturous pain in silence without any moaning and become sexually charged as a result?

The Ladies were betting how many infusion needles could be inserted into his stiff member. At the end, there were 86. The floor was puddled with blood yet John did not make a sound the entire time. He just stood in the middle of the room erect, smiling and bleeding. His cock was pumping up and down without any touch for over an hour.

Even after the Ladies freed John from the needles and mendings he denied himself of having an orgasm

He then retrieved from one his suitcases fresh clothing, disinfectant, soaps, bath towels and disappeared to the shower. Moments later, he returned refreshed as though nothing had happened, kissed the hands of Lady V and Mistress Marie and turned to leave.

I caught him at the exit with his suitcases. We exchanged small talk as he told me that he was interested in my photos. A week later, we met in a lounge in central Berlin during the day and I gave him his photos which he liked very much.

John is married with children and his wife knows about his fetish

Then we discussed his lifestyle, profession and family. He explained that enjoys normal sex with his wife without any intrusion of his fetish. She is aware that he satisfies his fetish 4-6 times per year as a deep need to express himself.

Something went wrong in his childhood when he was a little boy

He works in upper management as a technical specialist, leading hundreds of professionals as an important figure in the lives of 4 million people in a big city. As a young child, he had an operation to correct phimosis. The operation went awry and he had to stay in the children’s hospital for more than two months. Since then, he has been addicted to needles, nurses and all matters related to medical techniques.

I have no problem watching others bleed but if a needle comes close to me, I become a huge coward

Oddly enough, what connected our friendship is that I had the same operation when I was 9 years old. But since then, I developed a real paranoia of needles. Life is crazy and every person carries their own special nuances.

John and I  met often. Occassionally, he would come by for a beer after work to my BDSM club without play.  Other times he came to play doctor’s games.

Miss Rain and Kiria Chione are both medical professionals and sadistic

The first time John went in front of our cameras was in 2011. Miss Rain has a very special fetish: blood. To have these three together in a set didn’t require any directing. The two Ladies began silently, in a holy atmosphere, to needle him from the neck down to his genitals, using electric stimulation as well.

After they removed hundreds of needles, he stood smiling, bleeding, erect and proud

The Ladies were sexually stimulated from this session as John’s special wish for the day was for them to nail him with 6-3 inch silver nails directly through the breast nipples into a wooden beam. During this procedure, Miss Rain was milking his cock. I never could beg much less force her to do it in our other films where a submissive man may jerk off in front of her. We were banned behind our cameras while filming and all felt a strong sexual stimulation.

I was a bit jealous of John’s orgasm, never having seen a man shoot sperm for nearly half a minute

And I have seen a lot. After the session as we cleaned and disinfected the area, John neatly arranged his equipment in the suitcases as he smiled and said, “I didn’t want to orgasm, but how could I deprive your beautiful nurses? They were so good to me. I wanted to pleasure them”.

Well, he did.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author & Dominant Master, Mad Masterfun

Intimate Confessions of a Hobbyist

Recently, when discussing a few issues related to my last Geisha Diaries article, "Escort Hobbyist Relationships", several intriguing questions were raised. They were evocative questions which really challenged me, particularly, as a punter, why I conduct myself in the manner in which I do. Written by Capital Punter

It was suggested that I explore these issues and questions in a follow up post, which I am only too happy to do here. I hope they will shed light into the preferences and practices of this particular English punter.

At the outset I wish to state, despite the inquisitive mind of the person who raised these questions, that I have absolutely no problem addressing such fundamental yet challenging and personal issues. As the old saying goes, "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything!". Therefore, to take a step back and reappraise my own values once in a while is not such a bad thing!

"You described in emotionally intimate detail the nature of your companion relationships in such a way that is strikingly similar to conventional dating relationships. While there are many companions who do share special relationships with their clients, most of those relationships are limited in many facets and ultimately end. So, with all due respect, I was quietly asking myself, why does this man choose companionship?"

 Some months ago, I took a generic look at this same issue on my own blog in an article entitled, "Why punt, why not date?". In this article, I considered many of the reasons why some may choose to punt, a few of which related directly to me. I also explored some of the alternatives to punting and to the conventional dating relationships.

In short, it is as simple as a lifestyle choice. Like so many, I have very demanding work and personal schedules and cannot always commit the time I would like not only to a personal relationship but also to a social life where I may form such attachments.

The reason I choose companions who provide closer, more intimate experiences is because I find the purported "girlfriend experience" to sometimes be cold and sterile

"Seems that you choose to include or even require many of the intricacies in companionship that are reminiscent of conventional relationships which are the very characteristics that many hobbyists look to avoid.”

This is very true! I do admit that I seek a deeper level of companionship and intimacy that many punters may not. However, we are all different. I prefer an all-round, natural relationship that is conducted on a professional basis, with no strings attached. Such an understanding keeps both parties clear of where we stand and what we seek from the relationship.

I am under no illusion that these assertive criteria by which I search for ideal companions have made me much more discerning about my choices. This probably accounts for why I have experienced so many challenges.

The fact that I use the plural "companions" further illustrates my lifestyle preference as I enjoy engaging the company of a variety of ladies, albeit a fairly small group

For me it is all about having great experiences without any issues. This causes me to be very selective. I will only see ladies with whom I share the same aspirations, outlook, desires and who enjoy operating the way I prefer to do so.

"Why not put forth the same effort in a conventional relationship? Does paid companionship yield a convenient sense of control, a sense of empowerment?"

This was a very challenging question for me. Although I am very clear about my feelings, it did cause me to explore my motives on a deeper level in an effort to be perfectly clear in my own mind.

The first part is simple. As I talked about earlier, dating companions is a lifestyle choice. Whether others disagree is a moral argument to be addressed in another post. However, I only act in a responsible, dignified and deferential manner, so I feel that I have far higher morals than some would expect.

I definitely do not punt for any form of control or empowerment

Indeed, my main requirement of a successful meeting with a companion is that she enjoys the date at least as much, if not more than I do. More often than not, I like my companion to choose where and when we meet and what we do on the date. I do not request particular attire or services and I prefer that the lady set the pace. Now that does not sound like control or empowerment to me, does it to you?

The companions I know well enjoy this closeness as much as I do

I do not coerce anyone into any particular behavior or activity. If they enjoy the intimacy and connection that I enjoy then that is fine. If not, I do not push it. But I do tend to see those companions who share my outlook. I have met several ladies who say they do enjoy this unique type of companionship.

I do not know if my views or modus operandi sound eccentric or immoral to other hobbyists, companions or folks outside of the escort – hobby world. However, as I talked about at the start, we are all different and seek different things. I do know that companions will have their "favorite" clients with whom they share a close affinity.

As long as we all engage in a safe, healthy and mutually respectful manner, I believe we can learn about ourselves and discover those special companions and create priceless memories.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author and Punter, Capital Punter

Escort Hobbyist Relationships

"Is it possible for a British punter or an American hobbyist to actually maintain a friendship with a companion or escort?" Guest Author, Capital Punter

I’ve heard it is quite unusual in America, but I do know escorts in the U.S. who are good friends with hobbyists. However, I would have to say it is uncommon for a companion to be on close terms with a punter in the United Kingdom.

Based upon my personal research, striking a punter and escort friendship requires two people who are on the same wave length and share the same level of trust and openness

The very nature of an escort/client relationship thrives upon discretion, each side defining their personal boundaries and threshold of trust. To reach the point where one can fully trust someone else takes time and will vary for every party. Reciprocal trust is beyond our control, except for engendering it by our actions.

There have been numerous occasions when I have felt a close affinity to a companion

Our interests and tastes resembled, our outlooks matched and we enjoyed each other's company immensely. However, the relationships did not last. Maybe it was because we did not share common ground on every level where there was absolute trust and complete tolerance of each other. In my opinion, that’s when the relationships ended. Many of the dynamics of escort hobbyist relationships run parallel to those relationships that we experience in our personal lives whether with wives, girlfriends or lovers. However, in the context of the escort and client interaction, I appreciate that one must maintain a measured degree of distance to preserve one's own anonymity while respecting that of the other as well.

Revealing myself

It takes a great deal of time and many meetings to feel that I want to lower my barriers completely. Whilst I feel I am a fair judge of character, I have made too many mistakes in this area to feel that I can trust my judgment at all times. Therefore, I have to be convinced that I am doing the right thing in being candid. When I have done so, it has normally been in response to a companion having already been very open and accepting of me.

Striking the right balance

In any relationship, there is a fine balance to be achieved between being too open and being too distant. I find that if there is not even a basic, fundamental level of trust that develops after seeing someone many times over a long period, the relationship will not last. By the same token, I never wish to pry into a companion’s private affairs, so I will not ask personal questions. However, I make it clear that it is not due to a lack of interest in her as a person but rather a desire to be modest and respectful. I am forthright about myself to a degree that I feel the relationship warrants. If my companion reciprocates, I am more open. If she is reserved, I tend to hold back and this dance limits the longevity of the relationship.

Everyone will have a different definition of friendship, particularly in a companion and punter scenario

I know two companions very well. We know everything about each other. There are no secrets and where we can discuss anything. Indeed, I have told them things about myself I have never told even my family or closest friends and they have disclosed things to me in total confidence as well. The interesting point with each lady is that they confided in me before I revealed myself. Now we email or text daily and speak on the phone between meetings. Our meetings are always pre-arranged to conform to our personal schedules.

Our trust in each other must be absolute

Probably the most touching facet of this form of intimacy came recently during an unfortunate incident I experienced with another companion whom I thought I knew well (see what I said about my personal judgment?!). Both ladies called to check on my well being and both made it clear how they would like to stay in touch even if I decide to retire from the hobby. This meant so much to me on a fundamental level, "a friend in need" and all that. In fact, had it not been for them, I would not have written this story.

I firmly believe that an escort and client relationship should be mutually respectful

In all of our interactions in life, the degree of respect which we exhibit and with which we are afforded will determine the strength and direction of the relationship.I never coerce anyone to disclose anything they do not wish to share but it is still all about meeting half way. I cannot be open and totally accepting of someone if I am regarded with suspicion, doubt or lack of trust in return. As I mentioned earlier, things take time, of course. If I am not compelled to reciprocate, I will not prolong the acquaintance.

My companion friendships are very close because they are based upon mutual respect and trust

This is primarily because quite literally, know each other very intimately. Each has blossomed over quite a long time into what we enjoy now, as any true relationship evolves and cannot be forced, but also has to be nurtured by both sides void of alterior motives. As a result, all of our meetings are sheer pleasure. I enjoy sharing different experiences with each and discussing things we would like to share, even outside of the bedroom too. Are such experiences really so rare? I do not know, as I have only my own experiences from which to draw upon and the anecdotal opinions of others.

Often, the most touching moments are the ones away from the bed

I have relished truly touching stories shared by other escorts, so I in no way regard myself as unique. I know many companions who have some wonderful clients and share intensely personal moments together. Readers probably have their own definitions and experiences to consider. These are mine and I believe such friendships are quite possible and there is nothing inherently wrong with them. The fact that most companions I know say they have their “special clients” corroborates my point of view.

Is this unique to the UK scene? I have no idea, but I believe not, based on what I have heard from companions overseas.

Contributed by Capital Punter, Guest Author for Geisha Diaries

Isolation in Sex Work

"Working in the adult industry, especially when you are an independent provider, is an isolated lifestyle disconnected from common culture" Phone Sex Secrets

I began escorting at an agency. I went to sit with the other girls on each of my shifts rather than waiting at home for my pager to buzz (yes, it was pagers back then!). I went not because the agency was centrally located but for the company. What began as a means to learn the ropes of the sex worker industry quickly became a desire for camaraderie. Even when I developed a number of regulars, I still wanted to make sure I had some time to hang out with my sex work sisters. Decades later, I'm only more aware of that need.

On the average, folks don’t accept sex work. Our families, whether innate or married and our friends all have reasons why we ought not subject them to our choice of occupation.  This forces the necessity for sex workers to lead double lives. 

While our silence may begin as a gift to those we love, at some point it becomes a gag.  Even the most sex positive and open minded friends really can't grasp what we do. Existing long enough without a support system who can listen, commiserate and really comprehend what our days are like can lead to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated and unaccepted. These emotions can lead to deeper feelings of depression, resentment and withdrawal.

Our careers themselves add to the isolation. We grow wary of being ousted, unsure of who to trust. How long will they be in this work? Who do they know? And, truth be told, we are a competitive lot, especially if we are independent professionals. We have to be because we are in competition with one another in many ways, at least in terms of separating ourselves from the rest of the pack. Even the ease and affordability of the internet and other digital technologies render us more alone most of the time. The results are that we don't wish to share too much about our private lives, our professional experience or knowledge, ourselves, winding up even more entrenched in our state of seclusion.

I'm sure many readers are acutely aware of these feelings of isolation in their personal lives. But some may silently suffer from more and more burn out, summing it up to demands of the job.  While sex work is far more demanding than most people realize, it's not the only factor in losing interest. In fact, it's only half of the equation. The other half is a good support system.

The more demanding the sex work is, the greater the need is for a support system.  But how do you find or create one in the sometimes harsh and difficult circumstances of sex work?

Forums and online groups for escorts, PSOs (phone sex operators) and other sex professionals are good places to start. Even forums for erotica authors can be welcoming places, especially when you dabble in offering custom erotica. Often, however, you'll find yourself avoiding personal and professional questions alike in these online communities -- for all the reasons mentioned earlier. (I always do recommend exercising caution in online communities.) At least that's likely how you'll feel at the start.

Over time you'll find yourself conversing more regularly with a few people, hopefully building a virtual friend or two. Virtual friends help, of course! But even if you want to meet, schedules, etc. may not allow for it. At least not as often as you'll need.

Another way to begin building a support system for yourself is by getting out into the world meeting other people who work in the adult industry. One of the best ways to do this, honestly, is to get involved in some sort of activism. I, naturally, recommend joining some sort of group working for sex workers rights, or at least a sex-positive organization. Not only because I believe working towards an end to the stigmas of sex and sex work will lead to less isolated lives for each of us as individuals, but because when you do "out" yourself as a sex worker, you're likely to be understood and respected. Plus, working towards a goal larger than yourself gives you a healthy dose of perspective.

You can always begin by forming an online alliance or virtual working relationship before participating in any real world gathering. And, if you are worried about being identified in your home town or base of operations, locate groups with meetings and events you can attend but which are not in your own town. 

Another place to look for like minded folks in similar situations is at the book signings and readings of works by erotica editors and human sexuality authors. I find there are always a great number of sex workers in attendance at these events and the bigger the name of the author or editor, the bigger the crowds. Start following some of the most recognized names in these publishing genres (which often is just plain good sense for business, anyway), and you'll soon find yourself sipping drinks with folks with similar i­ssues in their lives.

College and university campuses also have forums and events centered on sexual topics, from lectures and workshops, to screening of adult films and documentaries.  There are even places online where you can find or start "meet ups" for sex workers. Don't look for clients at these events; but you can find friends.

Most of these events, especially those on campus and book related, are most commonly held in larger cities. Escorts and companions who travel might find this is the best of both worlds: out and about socially yet not in your home town. But smaller towns have them too.  Just like sex workers, sex positive events and folks are out there. You just have to go looking for them.

Written by Guest Author for Geisha Diaries, Phone Sex Secrets

Mechanics of Cross Dressing

"I've come to see cross-dressing as one part of a multifaceted continuum of lingerie fetish" A Slip of a Girl

A true sexual fetish requires the object, in this case lingerie, to be present. But there are plenty who consider themselves lingerie fetishists, even if they can achieve arousal and satisfaction without it. This might be a simple starting point in the continuum:

Men who love lingerie

They see it more than just a wrapping to discard as quickly as the paper covering a holiday gift. They want to experience it as part of the woman. Quite often, these lingerie fetishists want the lingerie to be part of the sex acts, whether it’s included in foreplay or part of the main course.  It could be as simple as being stroked by the hem of a slip, leaving panties on during sex, or being masturbated to orgasm with the skirt of a nightgown.

The lingerie fetish may also be combined with other interests such as Dominance and submission

in which they desire to spank or otherwise dominate a woman in traditional or classic lingerie (girdles, garters, stockings and the like). Frankly, the lingerie fetish can be combined with just about all other fetishes, taboos and fantasies. From there, the continuum itself (not necessarily any man) may progress to wearing lingerie

Panties are usually the most common garment

This may only be for the sensual experience of the fabrics, or it may even progress into the taboo of wearing women's undergarments. This is called cross-dressing (CD).

Strictly speaking, cross-dressing is when a person of one gender wears the clothing, underclothing and/or fashion accessories most commonly associated with another gender

In Western cultures where women can freely wear pants and other items of "male" clothing, the term cross-dressing most frequently refers to men wearing women's clothing. (Cross-dressing doesn't need to have a sexual component, but here I'm discussing cross-dressing  in terms of sex work and human sexuality.)

For many cross-dressing men, there's a thrill in just wearing a piece of women's intimate apparel merely because it's not considered masculine

The sensual delights enhance the awareness of wearing it and when combined with the forbidden nature of the act, it can be quite powerful. Yet, for many other cross-dressers there is more.

It's important to note that the majority of cross-dressing men are not gay or transsexual

Most of them wouldn't consider themselves bisexual or bi-curious either.  They dislike seeing photos of men in drag, preferring to view images of women in lingerie and inserting themselves, figuratively or literally, in her shoes for the time being.  They want to feel feminine, even be treated as female for periods of time, but they do not identify as female in terms of their own gender. Nor do they love or lust after men not even if and when they dress completely as a woman and give themselves a female name. It really is more of a form of cross play or role play, in which they like to play the part of the woman -- as they define it.  (This can be a tricky area for many women who are in relationships with cross-dressers, and one of the many reasons professional services are sought.) There are a great number of cross-dressers who wish to engage in fantasies or professional services for the girl-on-girl action with themselves as one of the girls, yet eventually climaxing in more traditionally male ways.

Most sissy maids strongly identify as submissive and wish to serve a dominant female

A cross-dressing man may be even further along the continuum, in what many prefer to call "the role of the sissy." Sissies and sissy maids typically are those cross-dressing men who like to role play as if they were female, including serving women and being used by men. In this role, they desire to participate in power exchanges based on their sexual ideals of gender roles; anything from pegging to spankings and other physical punishments, from emotional punishments such as humiliation to servicing other men. This includes being used by or "whored out" as a "sissy slut" to other men.

The definition of "sissy" and the fantasy acts themselves vary wildly based on the individual's stereotypes of what it means to be female, their ideas of submission, and just about any other sexual interests, fetishes and fantasies you can think of. Clearly this is not a one-size-fits-all area of sexuality.

Approaching a lingerie fetishist as a sissy, treating a cross-dresser as a gay man or threatening a sissy with a spanking paddle can incur disastrous results!  

It's vital for the professional sex worker, be it an escort, phone sex operator, BDSM professional, et al, to note all the subtle and not-so-subtle differences in this lingerie fetish continuum. Any professional wishing to work successfully with clients in these areas must learn how to identify the individual needs and fantasies of each specific client in order to satisfy them.

Written by Geisha Diaries Guest Author & Lingerie Fetishist, A Slip of a Girl

How to Find a Sugar Daddy Online

Geisha Diaries caught up with one of our Guest Authors, Butterfly Sugar, who wrote the article, “Lifestyle of a Sugar Baby” back in March, 2011. She is an elegant, well-written and self-professed, chocolate-dipped sugar baby. We asked her to share her insight and knowledge about successfully pursuing the sugar baby lifestyle. Here is her advice:

1. Sugar baby photos and bio 

• These are the primary features when drawing a sugar daddy to your advertisement, curious to see more of you and know what you are all about. 
• Use your own photos. Do not use someone else's images. Eventually, you will meet your potential sugar daddy and will have wasted your time and his by falsifying your identity with someone else’s pictures.
• If you do not want to show face in your photos, crop them from the lips down. This way he can see your pretty smile or sexy pout along with the shape of your body.
• Your profile should display at least 3 basic looks: the little black dress (or equivalent) to show how nice you look in chic to semi formal attire; a headshot (personality radiates through a smile); a fun, lifestyle shot (such as a swimsuit, playing with your dog or walking along the beach)

• Photos that depict careless partying or drinking will discount any persona and should be avoided.

2. Structuring your ad 

• Avoid sounding desperate or whining like a down & out country song
• Don’t use cliche' words such as spoiled, high maintenance or drama free
• When describing your looks, create a vivid, detailed picture. Which sounds better? "I have brown skin" or "I have silky, smooth, milk chocolate skin"?
• www.thesaurus.com should become your best friend. Using repetitive words (i.e., fun, generous, spoiled) gets monotonous. Make a little effort and discover some unique words or phrases to express the same meanings.
• Explain your objective: you need to pay off your student loans; you would like to start a business, etc.
• Run everything through a spell check before posting your ad. Simple spelling and grammatical errors can be a turn off to the well appointed gentleman.
• Refrain from using "adult worker" terminology. It won’t get you very far.

3. Sugar daddy complaints 

• The lady looks nothing like her pictures. Either she is using outdated photos or photos from 20 lbs ago or those of a different person all together.
• There are a lot of women who feature themselves as mail order brides whose objectives are for the gentleman to pay their way to America.
• Men do not like to think that the sugar babies they are meeting are escorts. Whether or not they themselves see providers is beside the point. Post different photos than those used for your escort ads or sites as they can be run through Tineye and come back to haunt you.
• Many ladies are cold, detached and only care about money. Despite how you may feel, you should be amiable, charming, patient and kind. You will truly benefit from these traits.

4. Do your research – learn as much as you can about your potential sugar daddy beforehand 

• Utilize Google or any other search engine by inputting as much information as you can to investigate your potential sugar daddy.
• Tineye verifies the authenticity of a photo. Some men use pictures from their business websites which is another way of discovering more about them.
• Pipl is a great source for gathering in depth information
• Reverse phone number lookup is quite useful in determining the authenticity of your potential sugar daddy and can provide a lot of insight.

5. Watch out for the losers 

• Test Drive Dude - this is the guy who wants to test the goods so that he knows what he is getting into. You are not a car so there is no kicking the tires beforehand. There are a lot of men who prey on the naivete of women, coercing them to have sex on the premise that they will give them something. Another one is the guy who tries to pay per orgasm. Oh yes, ladies, there are those guys out there.
• Time Waster/Email Buddy - this guy will have plenty of time to email you numerous times a day but magically never have time to meet with you. He wants emotional support that he is not getting elsewhere and utilizes the promise of meeting you to falsely fulfill those needs.
• Flakes - unfortunately, there are a lot of guys who will chat with you, schedule a date but never show up. Follow your instinct on how serious you think they are and request that they call or email on the day of your date to confirm.
• Photo Collector - I post only 2 or 3 photos on my profile. I do not post in my private gallery because I find that doing so attracts a lot of perverts who sift through the website looking for ladies with private photos hoping they can see some tits and ass. Those same guys do not plan on speaking or meeting you. I stay away from men who ask to see more photos. Instead, I suggest that we meet in person if they would like to see more.
• Text Message Phone Sex - this guy push the sexual boundaries before you ever meet. He is yet another guy just looking to get his rocks off.
• Mr. "Promise you the World" - don't get hypnotized by a pretty song. If it sounds like bullshit he is feeding you, it is bullshit. Female intuition is key.
• Setup a brand new individual email for online sugar dating. An email address can be tracked and if you’ve used it for anything personal your information can be leaked.

Written by Butterfly Sugar, Sugar Baby and Guest Author for Geisha Diaries

T Girl Chronicles of a Group Sex Junkie

"So, to do it right, you really need a guy who is so confident that he'll go face to face with another dude while you're sandwiched in between, getting fucked senseless." Guest Author Jessica Rivers

I used to be a jet setting T girl, traveling like a nomad between an endless array of cities, meeting all kinds of interesting people. But as the economy continues to drag and my travels decline, I appreciate the simpler things in life such as doing laundry. Today is incall cleaning day. Stephanie's been away from home for a while, so I've had to maintain both our home and the incall.

Girls who I work with call me The Security Bitch and they mean it in a good way

I used to work with this fabulous blonde spinner chick, Amy. She introduced me to group sex and had more security holes than Windows2000. I was always riding that girl's ass about something. She would give away the address of the incall randomly and then leave the door open when expecting a guest. She did not use an alias. And she would drop off the laundry at the same local dry cleaner, every week.

Security means maintaining a low profile by remaining conscientious of those around you and protecting your privacy, something Amy had no clue about

One evening, we stopped to pick up the laundry at the cleaners. The owner, a woman, silently glared at Amy as she requested her laundry. In the car, Amy shrieked about people's biased opinions. “Listen,” I explained to her carefully, “every week you walk in to the same cleaners, clicking your stilettos, strutting in your short skirt and drop off 6 sets of bedding, numerous facecloths, thongs, bikinis and lingerie. What kind of impression are you giving this woman?” (I mean, I totally appreciate my slutty lifestyle, but I have to keep in mind that regular folk might not be amused.)

Truthfully, this girl was addicted to cock

So here I sit in a laundromat, cleaning several comforters and thinking about the other thing that Amy got me hooked on – group sex. Gangbangs. Tag teaming. Threesomes. Whatever you want to call it - a nice series of cocks filling all my holes.These group sessions were really just an excuse for a Sunday afternoon gangbang and to score big in the course of three hours. She would set aside the last Sunday of each month from 3-6pm as a group session. Essentially, this meant that you shared your appointment with whoever else was there. Usually it was her and one other girl and I was the hostess. I greeted guests at the door, served drinks, snacks and kept order. (Security Bitch, remember?) I also wore a scanty, French maid outfit. It was perfect!

Of course no one fucked me, on the record at least, though I ended up administering a few random blowjobs toward the end of the party

I have to say, I really do enjoy giving a guy a blowjob while his buddy is in the next room fucking my friend. And all the while, he's telling me,“ you have to keep this a secret” and “you can't tell my buddy” and “my God, you're so hot”. I love that mix, a guy so torn by his need to have me suck his cock that he can't resist, despite his buddy being there, so he pulls me away for a discreet quickie in the bathroom when he thinks no one can see. Absolutely mischievous!

Amy was a machine. That girl could outlast anyone in the bedroom. It was a lot of fun and a lot of money. It definitely gave me a taste for gangbangs. My clients know that I always keep porn running on the laptop next to my bed and most of it lately is just group sex and a lot of it.

So first, a gangbang guy must be secure in his sexuality

One of the most common things a hobbyist will say to me after they say they want to come to my gangbang is, “well, these other dudes, they're not going to be looking at my junk, right”? I just shake my head sadly, “No, no one's looking at your junk. But it is a gangbang.”

Gangbang guys must have no problem sharing a girl (or a Tgirl) with a stranger or a friend

It's odd for most guys. What gets more bazaar is when you start getting into double penetration and all of the really fun gangbang stuff because then you need a guy willing to fuck you with a stranger and also get up close with the other guy while they both mount you. Not to mention that their dicks might touch during the whole process. So, to do it right, you really need a guy who is so confident that he'll go face to face with another dude while you're sandwiched inbetween getting fucked senseless. And then, for an encore, flip you around and trade. That's not just any dude. It's a super dude, a super gangbang dude. And there aren't that many of them. Never mind several at a time. And ones that will do a Tgirl? Even more rare.

You see, people are so in love with the idea of a gangbang that the reality is always more uncomfortable. 

My last attempt at gangbangage was about 6 months ago in Dallas. This time I ran a few ads and even told the people replying that I was an escort and that this was how I played in my free time. (It never hurts to do a little marketing for solo sessions while I'm at it). Out of 50 respondents, 30 returned my contact, 10 of whom called, 7 who then agreed to meet and only 1 scared douche bag name Eric showed up.

I will always meet a date at a local coffee shop initially and then we drive over to my incall location

As disappointed as I was that there was only one guy, hardly a gangbang of any kind, I always keep my word: He was way out of his league and terrified as a result. I think he hoped that I wouldn't show up at all. Suddenly, it turns out that I'm not only for real, but that I'm his all alone simply because no one else showed up. I’m afraid it was too much for him.

The sex was even worse. His manhood was cursed in shape and size and he came in less than 2 minutes he was so nervous. I went into the bathroom to change back into my street clothes so he could drive me back to the coffee shop. Instead, he literally bolted out the door and was gone before I even knew what happened. I was stranded at the incall until midnight when a friend was finally able to pick me up.

And that's what this Tgirl thinks about while she sits in the laundromat today

getting ogled by an Asian dude who seems to think his sneakers are impressive and some grand black chick with a chip on her shoulder for skinny white bitches. The foamy water swirling around in my five washing machines is super hot, the strong bleach smell screams disinfected. I watch the occasional thong dart past the window and think about gangbangs past and future and the lack of a few good men.

Written by Jessica Rivers, TGirl and Guest Author for Geisha Diaries

The Quintessential Cumshot

His cock, now cement hard, overwhelmed the tightness between my legs. Euphoric ecstasy bid farewell to the sharp and sudden pain of his entrance, bringing with it a realm of pleasure. The room swelled to a stifling temperature as his salty sweat dripped into my eyes creating tears that streamed down the sides of my face. He pushed the swollen tip a little...

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